i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Randomize
