Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
