she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
