he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
