i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
