I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
