i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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