I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
