all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
