She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
