my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
