it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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