I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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