hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
