some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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