Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
