i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
