Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
