I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I forget how to act sober
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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