How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
