smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
