I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
