why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
