its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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