I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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