Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
