found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
