I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
