You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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