TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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