The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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