Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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