He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
