i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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