I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
