I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
