the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
