coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
