Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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