It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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