I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
