I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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