Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
