i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize