Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
