people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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