you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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