So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
