cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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