I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
