I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize