we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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