Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
