then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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