Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
