how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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