My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
