i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
