Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
