i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
