Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize