No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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