there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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