i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I am mentally ready for anal.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize